I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize