Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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