who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
