shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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