she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
