i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
