Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
