i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
