I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
