My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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