just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
