shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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