If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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