You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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