Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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