Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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