You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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