got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
