You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
