Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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