well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
