Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I need moral support for this bender
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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