that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize