Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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