i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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