Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize