So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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