I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
