So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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