I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
