Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
