Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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