even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You're like the curious george of whores
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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