Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
