plz talk dirty to me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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