I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He kissed a someone with a penis
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
