Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
