I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
