oh god the rape fog is back!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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