dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
