The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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