is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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