dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
