he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
