please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
