There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
