When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize