I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
