I just pynch a tree in the face
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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