my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
