no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
