sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
