why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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