tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
