Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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