you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
