i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
