I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
