did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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