It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize