I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
