Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
