if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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